tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-66549069031261960752024-03-13T05:54:45.940-07:00Blog-e-zineabout a woman toggling between science, parenting and a journey called lifeThe Curatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04719208096381902361noreply@blogger.comBlogger160125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6654906903126196075.post-9744983930548844222015-11-05T00:28:00.003-08:002015-11-05T00:29:11.911-08:00Between You and I - the art of knowing each other<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Its been pretty long we are not keeping our personal accounts J. So what are we waiting for, lets jot down some together time in this time.<br />
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Yesterday I was talking about who knows the other better, I was boasting that you know nothing about me and I am so knowledgeable about you. You got up and before leaving the room in your new casual way you replied, "Mamma, I lived inside you for nine months remember, so I know you inside out!<br />
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You have been pushing your limits, pretty much in recent months, you are an outspoken person now, (well you always were with me and your friends but now at school too). I am glad that with changing of city and school you used this opportunity to create a difference in your personality.<br />
You are raising hands more often than not. Your teacher is very inclusive and the school believes in having fun while arranging events and not in having perfect events! Very important for growing up.<br />
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You have friends and you still miss your old friends - a state of mind I am afraid you will always have in your life. So enjoy making new friends and stay connected with the old ones. I know you want to have one best friend forever (BFF) like they show in the stories but you know what it is equally fun to have many friends each related to a specific slice of your life. Connecting with them occasionally reminds you of that part of life.<br />
Yes but you are right it is really cute and lucky to have a BFF.<br />
I would suggest you to follow the same pattern with finding mentors too!<br />
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When your new friends started coming home every evening to call you, or to chit-chat with you over the weekends, to speak the truth, I was little nervous. I believe in the principle of being friendly with my kid's friends and till now I managed to do that very well. I could always become the friendly and funny anuty for your friends.<br />
Here, in this place I was little unsure as your new friends are all grown ups and not the 6-7 year old primary school goers, so I was wondering my "Come kids lets bake cake baking strategy" would work this time.<br />
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Phew - it worked! Your friends and you proved it again<br />
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"To grow old is mandatory but to grow up is optional"!<br />
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The Curatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04719208096381902361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6654906903126196075.post-6332506719498052562015-07-23T00:15:00.001-07:002015-07-23T00:15:30.538-07:00Women in Sciences – Careers to explore | Workplace | SHEROES<a href="http://sheroes.in/articles/women-in-sciences-careers-to-explore/OTgw#.VbCUixmpuME.blogger">Women in Sciences – Careers to explore | Workplace | SHEROES</a>The Curatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04719208096381902361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6654906903126196075.post-15805730859443184012015-07-21T02:24:00.001-07:002015-07-21T02:24:17.344-07:00Lessons Rejection Taught Me | Workplace | SHEROES<a href="http://sheroes.in/articles/lessons-rejection-taught-me/OTY3#.Va4PvP9EXAA.blogger">Lessons Rejection Taught Me | Workplace | SHEROES</a>The Curatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04719208096381902361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6654906903126196075.post-50417926295354228602015-07-21T02:23:00.001-07:002015-07-21T02:23:35.116-07:00My 5 favorite books as a working mother | Workplace | SHEROES<a href="http://sheroes.in/articles/my-5-favorite-books-as-a-working-mother/OTc0#.Va4Pj63cc-w.blogger">My 5 favorite books as a working mother | Workplace | SHEROES</a>The Curatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04719208096381902361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6654906903126196075.post-72157588350056002352015-07-17T03:57:00.001-07:002015-07-17T03:58:58.041-07:00Overhaul your salary!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://sheroes.in/articles/overhaul-your-salary/OTM5">Overhaul your salary!</a></span></h2>
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The Curatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04719208096381902361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6654906903126196075.post-24758504023310958982015-07-17T03:51:00.003-07:002015-07-17T03:59:45.508-07:00How to overcome loneliness while working from home?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="http://sheroes.in/articles/how-to-overcome-loneliness-while-working-from-home/OTE5"><span style="font-size: small;">How to overcome loneliness while working from home?</span></a></h2>
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The Curatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04719208096381902361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6654906903126196075.post-70818331964516767292015-07-17T03:50:00.002-07:002015-07-17T04:00:05.619-07:00Why work-life balance is perceived as an issue for working women only?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="http://sheroes.in/articles/why-work-life-balance-is-perceived-as-an-issue-for-working-women-only/OTI4"><span style="font-size: small;">Why work-life balance is perceived as an issue for working women only?</span></a></h2>
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The Curatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04719208096381902361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6654906903126196075.post-33467042058414051092015-07-17T03:49:00.003-07:002015-07-17T04:00:19.972-07:00It’s time to break that guilt trap Moms!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://sheroes.in/articles/it-s-time-to-break-that-guilt-trap-moms/OTM0">It’s time to break that guilt trap Moms!</a></span></h2>
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The Curatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04719208096381902361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6654906903126196075.post-52364560823420669192015-07-17T03:47:00.001-07:002015-07-17T04:00:41.420-07:00Women “fall in love” and “cry” when criticized in laboratory: A light hearted comment on Women in Sciences<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<a href="http://sheroes.in/articles/women-fall-in-love-and-cry-when-criticized-in-laboratory-a-light-hearted-comment-on-women-in-sciences/OTE1">Women “fall in love” and “cry” when criticized in laboratory: A light hearted comment on Women in Sciences</a><br />
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The Curatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04719208096381902361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6654906903126196075.post-54900648012873477062015-06-11T23:39:00.002-07:002015-07-17T04:02:21.387-07:00How to win recognition as a remote employee?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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The Curatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04719208096381902361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6654906903126196075.post-37010918020398558792015-06-11T23:38:00.002-07:002015-06-11T23:38:29.442-07:00Daunting barriers to the leadership position for Indian women in Academia<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<a href="http://sheroes.in/articles/daunting-barriers-to-the-leadership-position-for-indian-women-in-academia/OTEy#.VXp9i1BQcaI.blogger">Daunting barriers to the leadership position for Indian women in Academia | Workplace | SHEROES</a></div>
The Curatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04719208096381902361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6654906903126196075.post-44232685620412192222015-05-28T21:12:00.001-07:002015-07-17T04:02:02.840-07:00Are you a buddy at your work place? | Workplace | SHEROES<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<a href="http://sheroes.in/articles/are-you-a-buddy-at-your-work-place/ODgz#.VWfnO9zwVh0.blogger">Are you a buddy at your work place? | Workplace | SHEROES</a></div>
The Curatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04719208096381902361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6654906903126196075.post-3485956082464981102015-05-27T22:01:00.005-07:002015-05-28T10:48:26.863-07:00The Sad State of Indian Married Men! <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<i><b>Disclaimer:</b> I am not trying to prove any point here for Indian Married Men (IMM), only that we the Indian married women (IMW) may need to be little less judgmental towards IMM and more compassionate. IMMs are after all another species biologically and have different ways of doing things. Most of all they are pretty lonely and confused in Indian territory. </i><br />
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<b>No status development in last 100 years: </b> Compared to Indian married women (IMW), Indian married men (IMM) have achieved nothing in last 100 years, IMW were burned as a <i>sati</i>, married off as a child, burdened with birth of children every alternate years, stopped from getting educated, and go out of their home premises. In contrast to that today IMW are going strong in every aspect of their lives, they have entered the sacrosanct 'men only' areas of profession (Read-offices, laboratories, factories, police stations, court rooms, pilots cabin) with full thrust. They are entering within the bars and disco's even more to enjoy the hard work they are putting in. IMM on the other hand are still going to work like their grandfathers with a lunchbox in their hands and working hard to remain just a bread winner. They are still struggling to enter into 2 domains which is IMW specialty for generations - that is the Indian home kitchens and raising kids! They cannot get leave from work even when they get their precious babies!</div>
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<b>No supporting team: </b> IMW have worked as a team for 3 generations, grand mothers and mothers have given all their wisdom to their daughters regarding "man kinds" and made them fit to fight for a living. Fathers try to support their daughters in education and make them financially independent. IMW have understood that it is not necessary to work tirelessly with 10 invisible hands like their mothers generations. They now invest in getting help from other women instead as maids, nanny, cooks or men as a drivers, gardeners, grocers etc. In contrast IMM don't have any support team at all.They are supposed to know the finances even if they are bad in counting. Father-son relationship in India is very skewed, fathers never reveal any of their wisdom regarding women to their sons. They actually stop talking with each other from pretty early state and boys are left to their moms to be raised. IMM are thrown into life without any wisdom from previous generations of men. So they need to invent the wheel all over again.<br />
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<b>Raised by older versions: </b>IMM raised by previous generations of women are fed with all the emotional quotient of mother - son equation. Each extra egg that they got to eat than their sister has big return costs. They come to know about this much later.The mothers sacrificial love to their sons numb the logical thinking of IMM when it comes to discuss any matter with their mothers.</div>
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<b>Challenges with upgraded versions:</b> Raised by god and kitchen loving mothers when Indian man sees a woman of today, they get awed. They feel the liberation of being with a not so emotional buddy. They want to marry them immediately. None of his peers or seniors tell him the hidden cost of marrying a modern ambitious woman. She is not a goddess or a slave like before but a human who demands equality to the extent of sharing the pain of child birth too. It is only after marriage IMM experiences the conflict between old and new version of the software called Mother and wife in his life. The attractive buddy before marriage suddenly turns into a sore face if he favours his mother in any choices related to home and family. </div>
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<b>Shuttling between diverse expectations: </b>Just after marriage the IMM realise that all the emotional bonding of his mother since his childhood demands a big cost of favouring the mother other than the wife. If he fails to do that he is doomed by his mother and the society, Indian television channels are showing these cases in mega serials. He has to remain a mama's boy all his life. He did not know either that the high degree, qualifications, full time high paying job and those manicured hands of the woman that allured him before marriage comes with a cost of trails of maids, cooks and others which his mother never felt the need of. He does not know how to take his wife to the disco after marriage where they used to meet before marriage under the nose of his temple going mother. IMM gets confused by the change in specifications of upgraded new woman of today. The only similarity of both is they use tears before they hang.</div>
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<b>No dedicated webspace: </b> In this advanced era of internet and technology there are several communities formed by the women, for the women and from the women of India, (<a href="http://www.womenweb.in/">womensweb</a>, <a href="http://sheroes.in/">sheroes</a>, <a href="http://www.relauncher.in/">relauncher</a>, <a href="http://www.jobsforher.com/">jobs for her</a>, <a href="http://indiatoday.intoday.in/Simply?secId=20&catId=18">India today women</a>) there is not a single site dedicated to the IMM and their personal issues. No one speaks about them in India, they are the most ignored lot. IMM is perceived only to know about politics, sports, and gadgets and they are forced to read nothing more than that. Their fathers had similar problems when women came out with several printed magazines for each region and men had to read only India today! </div>
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<b>No mentor or peer to talk personal issues: </b>Have you ever heard IMM talking with each other regarding any bed time rituals or challenges to cope with a distance marriage? No, just like the men of previous generations, IMM of today don't speak about their emotions in public. It is a taboo, it makes them weaker than others. So issues are not raised, not discussed and not resolved in men's space. They linger. Unfortunately IMM don't have brains to open a conversation too. </div>
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<b>No innovation in group activities: </b>IMW are pushing their limits when it comes to group activities, they have extended their hobbies from knitting and sewing that were their mothers hobbies to travelling in women only groups, participating in car rallies, going trekking, wine crushing, baking Italian breads. Each of them are pushing the limits of community and social living slowly but steadily. For IMMs the social activities still remains dry drinking, playing cards or golf, discussing world politics or sports, photography and video games. Boring. No Innovation at all.</div>
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<i><b>Conclusive remarks: </b>IMM haven't got any support from the society to change their social behavior and status, they are in auto pilot mode for almost a century. So IMW now you being a more understanding species give your hands to the IMM, unburden them from the status of being the only bread winner, let them take paternity leave, teach your husband and sons to cook, laugh out loud, share emotions and cry too. Take them to spas and make them feel the wonders of pedicure, create websites to discuss their emotions, write books for them and not push them to read politics and sports as men's magazines. Help them becoming a human and not only a man!!</i></div>
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The Curatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04719208096381902361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6654906903126196075.post-14554348473596591032015-05-25T20:17:00.001-07:002015-05-25T20:17:30.843-07:00How to find a routine while working from home? | Workplace | SHEROES<a href="http://sheroes.in/articles/how-to-find-a-routine-while-working-from-home/ODcw#.VWPlx6tkvDY.blogger">How to find a routine while working from home? | Workplace | SHEROES</a>The Curatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04719208096381902361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6654906903126196075.post-17176489033856317122015-05-25T20:15:00.001-07:002015-07-17T04:01:19.483-07:00How not to disengage women from Sciences? | Workplace | SHEROES<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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The Curatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04719208096381902361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6654906903126196075.post-11848773839774826312015-05-10T09:15:00.001-07:002015-05-10T09:15:28.099-07:00Mother's day Special- My top 10 Mommy Bloggers<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
With the arrival of Mother's day-digital world was getting loaded with Mother's day messages. There are Facebook stories, Mother's day sales, and then Google Doodles. Mother symbolises a super selling commodity of emotion and sentiments. Proud Fathers are unfortunately little behind in this emotional race. Motherhood is a 24/7 job with no retirement or pension and they say that returns are priceless. Once a mother is always a mother and and from being a cool woman she slowly turns into a worrying, nagging, old fashioned mother for her kids! Yeah, I too am.<br />
It is 11 years of motherhood for me and my learning curve is still very steep, no diapers or potty training anymore, but new challenges are creeping in. A pre-teen can be a baby, toddler, teenager and an adult all with in a 24h timespan!<br />
With my mother being always far far away, my rescue routes comes from other mothers residing close to me, alongwith telephone calls to my ma, I continuously make string based searches to Google (easy art and craft idea for 3 year old), (baking marble cake with kids) etc.<br />
Since first year of parenting , these questions to google has opened up a galore of many Indian mommy bloggers to me, they have become a source of inspiration, friends, and co-passenger for me in the journey of parenting. I wonder whether I never looked for or I never found any Indian Daddy Blogger out there but these mommy bloggers have become my friends with time.<br />
Here is my list of top 10 Indian Mommy bloggers who made my parenting journey a little easier. These Mommy Bloggers are more real than the all perfect, always ready to sacrifice types the media or advertisement campaigns portray them. These mommy bloggers are resourceful, work hard, crib, feel guilt, laugh out loud, follow their hobbies, have friends and chill out along with being a Mom.<br />
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1. <a href="https://indianhomemaker.wordpress.com/">The Life and Times of an Indian Homemake</a>r: I used to be in Germany, pregnant, and desperately looking for some writings from Indian contemporary women. I came across the blog of Indian home maker and am reading her blogs since then. I had conversation with her through comments and I respect her a lot for her ability to live life in tough moments and tell the truth about conditioning of Indian women, being the voice of Indian women and the society that entraps her.<br />
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2. <a href="https://madteaparty.wordpress.com/">A Mad Tea Party</a>: The foodie and a new cook in me in another country, and in another time used to search for different recipes. I stumbled on this blog. I loved the get up and neatness of the blog immediately and started reading through its pages, I got stuck with the complete Indian flavour of the blog with major emphasis on the Kashmiri cuisine. The blogger is a mother and an architect and a detail oriented cook. Her writing gives you the recipe of the food and its ambiance too. I have wrote her mails and got replies too during a confused period of my parenting. Its been years I am reading her blog, she writes less now a days but how I cherish every new blog that comes out.<br />
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3. <a href="http://onehotstove.blogspot.in/">One Hot Stove</a>: This is another nugget in my blog reading list. She is an all rounder, good cook, compulsive reader, quilt maker, crochet artist. She writes like she is writing in a diary, more like taking notes, lots of information, dashed with little hint of personal stories. She is a very organised blogger and I know that at end of every month she would put a monthly round up for sure. We converse on food and books. Her little daughter and cute dog are charm to be read about.<br />
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4. <a href="http://www.bongcookbook.com/">Bong Mom's Cookbook:</a> Her blog is already a <a href="http://www.bongcookbook.com/p/the-book.html">book</a> (just like the Julie and Julia of the hollywood movie fame!). She has a great sense of humour and can attract the readers in a very cool way. Her blog talks about daily life of an expat Indian mother and that can connect any another Indian expat mother out there.<br />
Her food descriptions are great and takes you the world of childhood. Being a Bong, I connect little more to her blogs. With a new baby on my lap, her blogs used to inspire me as an expat mother. Now I have her book too. I have never seen her but she is such a friend, we share messages and comments all the time.<br />
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5. <a href="https://readingthroughrsmind.wordpress.com/">R's Mom:</a> She is a blogging machine and each of her blog brings a smile on your face. She gave me the glimpses on living in a big city of India even before I saw the city on my own. She is a very sensitive mother and that bonds immediately with her readers. She is a true multi-tasker and always bubbling with energy. I admire the amount of work she wraps in a days time. Her blog is a true chronicle of urban Indian working mothers of today.<br />
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6. A<a href="http://artsycraftsymom.com/">rtsycraftsymom</a>: I had a craft loving pre-primary kid. As an indian mother I kept searching for craft ideas close to India for my J. Artsycraftsy mom came to my rescue. She has created a wonderful art and craft resource for all the Indian mothers spread out all over the world. Her blog has grown exponentially since the time I am following her. I am sure this blog will take another dimension in coming yours.<br />
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7. <a href="http://www.saffrontree.org/">Saffrontree</a>: I don't know since when reading is one of my favourite pastime, thanks to my mom for that and thanks to the fact that I did not have distraction of internet and multiple channels dedicated to kids. When J was 2, I could immediately see that TV or internet was grabbing her attention immediately and I had to find ways for her It was important for me to create love for reading in her, that could be bridge for us for years to come. An incidental discovery of Saffrontree (maintained by a bunch of Mommy bloggers) turned out to be my resource for years for books to read out loud for J and then to give her to read. This is an excellent site for new and not so new mothers to find eclectic choices of books relevant for their kid's age along with the interviews of several authors. I could find many contemporary books written by Indian authors which both J and I enjoyed reading for separate reasons.<br />
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8. <a href="http://www.womenatwork.co.in/">Women at work:</a> She is another blogger whose book is a bestseller (L<a href="http://www.rupapublications.co.in/books/%E2%80%98lady-you%E2%80%99re-not-man%E2%80%99-adventures-woman-work">ady you are not a man</a>) and a must read for Indian working women. I first read her book and then crawled to her blog. She is a super successful professional but can still feel the reality of immense struggle that an Indian woman put in to merely stay in the jungle gym of career and jobs. She keeps pointing out these topics in her blog and have given a lot of tips to them in her book. I find her book to be an Indian version of "lean In".<br />
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9. <a href="https://nischalamurthy.wordpress.com/about/">Nischala Murthy Kaushik: </a>Another super blogger who has a multiple columns and is constantly writing for Indian women at work. How to continue and cope with the struggle of balancing work and life. How to move forward and take that extra plunge into the career. Her blog is a new entry in my reading list but she is truly an influencer for working women in India who is constantly reinventing her media savviness and bringing new thoughts for Indian working women.<br />
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10. <a href="https://mediumboss.wordpress.com/">Everything Official About it:</a> Last but not least, this blog is a lovely read with all sorts of topics that wanders inside a woman's mind. She is hilarious and until recently hers was my go to blog whenever I felt grumpy and horrid. I admired her immensely as a blogger, and then I came to know her personally and she is a profound writer, she writes books for children, young adults and adults as well. Her book <a href="http://www.tulikabooks.com/our-books/fiction/general-fiction/mayil-will-not-be-quiet">Mayil will not be quiet</a>, is both my daughter's and my favourite. My sister loves reading her articles too. She has excellent sense of humour and immediately connects to the entire genre of young women professionals to new moms. She has stopped writing on this blog unfortunately as she doesn't get time now a days, hope she will soon comeback. I know our kids need to read more books written by her but I truly want her to keep writing on the blog too!<br />
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The Curatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04719208096381902361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6654906903126196075.post-10987856094217532142015-04-06T10:37:00.002-07:002015-04-06T10:37:40.829-07:00 Summer vacation in a new city<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Summer vacations are in again and parents for now are as happy as their kids are. It is a time to slowdown a little, little introspection and do something else than rest of the year which is full of curriculums, tests and grades. Summer vacation brings a challenge for parents too, specially where both parents are working, we strongly realise at this time of the year how much the school does for our kids, in terms of keeping them busy, enthusiastic and some times bore them with routined home-works. Summer camps, activity classes, teaming up with other parents, taking leaves, inviting grand parents and other relatives are all important tools to <a href="http://www.womensweb.in/2014/05/working-mother-manage-summer-vacations/">sum up the summer vacation</a> for all parents working or not.<br />
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Summer vacation is the time when we need a known community of our kid's friends and their family to fall upon and get some time to enjoy it too.<br />
With a recent relocation to a new city, this summer J and we were little anxious on finding ways around this summer vacation.<br />
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Luckily I am working from home at present so that made J happy. Now a days she is also in a mood of 'me time' and so does not show her happiness like she used to as a 5 year old. I need to observe that solemnly when she comes and touch me while I am at work, or asks me if my work is going well.<br />
She is now becoming active online and I find it uncanny if she is being online all the time. I had this when she was getting hooked to TV as a toddler (those were nice and easy days!) and I know both she and I will get over this internet usage also.<br />
<br />
Otherwise she has become very sober and does not come to me with her queries at all while I am at work. We have some break times in between for lunch and a quick tea where we talk a little, and I try to propose some activities to her. It is all on mademoiselle to do them or not, or do them the next day or not do them at all. I don't rush her - after all it is vacation time.<br />
<br />
This time, like all the sumer vacations we had before, we have decided to <a href="http://www.blog-e-zine.blogspot.in/2011/03/push-start-to-readwritespeak-in-new.html">read books</a> (as many possible), and not by buying them but from library-this way she is forced out of Harry Potter and Percy Jackson genre and finds other interesting books from the library. Some time she needs to write review on what she has read and what she liked or disliked in those, or write a blog if some idea strikes. Only sometimes though - the whole fun of summer vacation can derail with the steam of over ambitious mommy!<br />
<br />
Then this summer there is a golden rule for her to watch one movie a day! sometimes what she wants to watch and sometimes what I want her to watch. She watched <i>Monalisa Smiles</i> one afternoon and upon finishing that she came to me and hugged me. She liked the movie very much and I instantly got more sure that I am raising a friend in her with whom I would be discussing a lot of stuff. We would also agree to disagree at times!<br />
<br />
She is bringing a lot of new sounds at home in the form of new music bands which we might have never known if we did not have her. Thanks to you tube, we get to see the videos and music of many new and recent popular bands. She tells us about the band, the equation between the band members and about their fan following. I try to squeeze in Indian instrumental music, Bollywood songs or Bengali <i>Rabindra sangeet</i> in exchange. She minds a lot, who cares!<br />
<br />
Web based software applications or our good old MS office suit exercises also comes handy when she gets bored even after all the above activities.<br />
<br />
Today morning I realized simple crayons and a piece of paper still can occupy attention of a child at age 11 for quite some time. Only problem here is the exploring minefield of google and its friends who keep hypnotizing kids of this age or any age actually towards them.<br />
<br />
After all this, she becomes really sad in the evenings and miss her old friends badly. She talks with them at times but she told me that it does not feel the same, she wants to sit with them and take a walk with them like before. Initially she decided not to make any new friends in this city as she did not want to loose them again. We did not force her anything, but searched for her some activity classes for her to spend some time constructively like arts and sports. Another idea was to help her find friends from these classes. She is not saying much about them and I am waiting when she will come back and say, "Oh I have made a friend today".<br />
<br />
J is a shy kid and making friends is always a task for her. During our last move she used to stand in our balcony and see the kids playing for almost 3 weeks. Finally one day she decided to go down and play with them.<br />
<br />
The city is new to us so we are using the weekends to discover the city just like we went for short trips during other summer vacations. For us adults also it is still a surreal state of mind where we are settling down to a new place, new work space (for J's papa) or new way of working (for me) and there are times when we sit together and talk about the other city we lived in and what our friends might be doing now.<br />
<br />
We make plans of going back to them, to visit them and return to the certainty of a known place and its roads. Although we know that the trip would be just for a visit to the city we lived, the city we made our home in.</div>
The Curatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04719208096381902361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6654906903126196075.post-30269995165660216202015-03-23T20:42:00.003-07:002015-03-23T20:43:29.810-07:00Relocate, Reset and Restart<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<i>Disclaimer: A story written by J from her recent experiences in life...</i> </div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">“What?"
I yelled almost dropping the plates in my hands. “Careful with the plates
J.” My mother warned me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">“How
can you think about <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">plates</i> when we
are going to move to Chennai!” I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">“I
told you she wouldn’t take it well.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My mother sighed to my father.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Great.
Now they were doing what all parents do, talk to each other about their child
as if the child is a fly on the wall.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Stomping
to my room, I slammed the door behind me completely forgetting about my job of
unloading the dishwasher.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Switching
on my music gear, I lay down on the bed and thought things through.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">I
suppose everyone do this at some or another point of their lives, after
weeks and months of surging through life you just take a break and think.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">And
that’s what I was doing. I just kept thinking. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Chennai
is a huge place; it’s very unlikely that we would find a small and bountiful
place like our present place-NSA over there. We’ll most probably live in one of
those huge societies where there are hundreds of kids with whom it’ll be very
difficult to form a friendship. I mean with so many kids around, everyone must already
have a best friend, right?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Why
does this always happen to me? I make friends in one place and whoosh we have
to relocate.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Just
then my mother walked in, probably to call me for dinner, and I took the opportunity
to ask, “Do we have to move?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">She
sighed she had been expecting this. “Yes, Yes we do. Your father and I think
the change will be good.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Oh
<i>Whoop-di-do</i>, let all leave our friends and go to an alien planet, the change will
be good for us! Not.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">My
mother seemed to guess what I was thinking and said, “Look we’re moving if you
like it or not. Just <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">accept </i>it.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Accept
it? No way was I going to accept it. In fact I’m going to keep hoping that
we’re going to stay in NSA until I board the plane.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Saying
bye to my friends was the worst part. I didn’t say bye to them until the very
last minute I could be with them. My social life was always grouped into two
halves; school friends and home friends.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">I thought
it’ll be worse saying bye to my home friends than my school friends but as it
turned out it was just as bad saying bye to my school friends.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">I
was pretty close to the boys in my life; I mean our relationship (ugh, came out
wrong) was normally bickering about things like which biscuit company was best.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Yes.</span></i><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"> We bickered about biscuits.
Got a problem? No. Thought so.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">And
the girls… well we shared everything that happened in our life with each other.
So they knew <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">everything </i>about me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">I’ll
miss my home too. Over here I had a tiny and cosy apartment.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">I’ll
miss this place.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Well
I’ll just have to Reset don’t I, and start again and make new friends. And get
comfortable around my new apartment.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Lets
hope there’s a good library over there. Books only can be my life-line now. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">The
last few days in NSA flew, literally flew by.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">One
day all our belongings were packed in boxes the next day they were loaded on
the truck and being carried of to the new city. And all of a sudden we were
boarding a plane.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">I
cried the whole 2 hr journey, sure I had my music gear and a few (7 actually)
new books I got as parting gifts to read but they just numbed my pain, sort of
like painkillers.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">The
pain was always the starting -people who relocated a lot knew that- it was the
starting of a new chapter in my life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">A
new city, new friends, new surroundings - A new Restart!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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The Curatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04719208096381902361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6654906903126196075.post-53410153354449521402014-12-15T09:37:00.000-08:002014-12-15T09:38:37.989-08:00Zo – the shy child <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It is not easy to believe now, but Zo used to be a very shy
child. Her parents did not push her to talk but they used to tell her that, “It
is good to wish people whom you meet on the way to kindergarten.” Zo never said
good morning to her kindergarten teacher until she was almost 4 years old. This
doesn’t mean that she did not like her teacher. It was just that she could not
say anything to her. She would not talk in the children circles or during rhyme
time. Her teachers, tried to encourage her all the time, but still Zo was not
able to let go of her shyness. She was very interested in art and craft and she
loved story times and playing with others. But whenever there was occasions where she had to speak it out in front of others she was unable to do that.
She could not sing in the Christmas function where every one else
participated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Zo’s mum and dad
used to feel sad sometimes, as Zo’s shyness was not letting her enjoy all the
fun of the kindergarten. Zo used to be a clingy child when they visited their
friends. Zo also missed not being part of any performance going on in the
kindergarten and after going home she used to perform them in front of the
mirror. Her mother used to watch her secretly!<br />
Zo’s mother remembered that she herself
was same as a child. Zo’s mother also remembered that there were so many
occasions she herself missed chance for a performance just being shy. She did not want
the same for Zo. She wanted to help Zo to get rid of her excessive shyness. She
talked with Zo’s teacher. Zo’s teacher an experienced lady, very good in child
pedagogy, listened to all the concerns of Zo’s mother and reassured her that it
was fine for a child to be shy. There are all kinds of children just like there
are all kinds of adults. She told Zo’s mother that Zo would find out her way
from shyness in her own pace. May be she would never be a star performer at stage but
she would find her own place in a stage called world. The teacher told Zo’s mum
to be understanding and patient. To watch for her other strengths like her
affinity towards scissor, paper and glue. She added, “Talk with Zo about
several situations at school and how she reacted to them.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Zo’s mother started doing that and she
started telling Zo about her childhood and how she was almost same as Zo.
Talking with mum helped Zo and specially on knowing that mum was also a shy
person helped her to be happy with the way she was. Slowly she started smiling
at the neighbour and her teachers every morning. Zo’s mother used to find books
in the library telling stories about shy children and about different
situations, like making a friend, participating in a school drama, playing a
game of football etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Zo loved
reading those stories. Her mother gave her a tip that in order to talk with
others (other than mum and dad) Zo did not need to look at them, she could look
to their nose or lips or somewhere else and say hello to them. With this tip in
her mind, Zo found it very easy to say good morning to all the people she met
on her way to kindergarten and then she also said a warm good morning to her
teacher.<br />
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Zo’s mother and her teacher were very happy on seeing this
development in Zo. Little did they know that this was just the birth of a
chatterbox!</div>
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<b>Disclaimer: Published before in the "mom and me" blog</b> </div>
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The Curatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04719208096381902361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6654906903126196075.post-73642056043286882402014-11-14T10:05:00.004-08:002014-11-14T10:05:35.294-08:00In the age of digital and democratic parenting<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
For a long time no blog is churned out from this space. Recently a call to write on topic of digital parenting in <span style="color: #333333; font-family: 'Varela Round', sans-serif; font-size: 14.1666660308838px; line-height: 16.6666660308838px;"><a href="http://yourekavach.com/">Women’s Web – eKavach ‘This Digi-Parenting Life!’ campaign caught my eyes</a> and I wanted to write my experiences about being a digital and democratic parent.</span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Varela Round, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 16.6666660308838px;">During my pregnancy, internet provided me all the support in a distant country that a mother, aunt or sister provides to an Indian women in India. All the recipes for tasty but nutritious food, different strokes of messages and how to keep that mood swing at bay when your body is playing drum-rolls with hormones.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Varela Round, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 16.6666660308838px;">No wonder after I got my bundle (of joy) in my hand, websites like </span><a href="http://babycentre.com/" style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 16.6666660308838px;">babycentre.com</a><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 16.6666660308838px;"> became my go to places to know all about a new subject of parenting. As a new mom who was also studying for her final degree, I needed support to calm down my daughters from crying, return to home tantrums in the evenings, and dinner time showdowns. Slowly creeped in the world of </span><a href="http://www.youtube.com/" style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 16.6666660308838px;">you tube </a><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 16.6666660308838px;"> and came the little boy called Caillou, the brother and sister's team lola and charlie, a friendly pig called Peppa pig and several other characters. They entered into the daily screen watching ritual of my daughter and my daughter could connect with them almost as if <a href="http://blog-e-zine.blogspot.in/2010/06/are-cartoons-new-cousins.html">they were her cousins</a>. Also came the nursery rhymes and rhymes in our mother tongue again from you tube. Slowly my daughter started controlling the keyboard and mouse and started selecting her favourites. For being a democratic mom (and sometimes a tired one too) allowed her to have a dedicated screen time which was mostly computers and television. Smart phones were still a future product then. Games from popular website <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/cbeebies/">cebeebies</a> became popular in our house too. We started learning numbers, colours, manners from the computer games. Being in academic field my husband and I were using computer all the time and our daughter never got any negative vibe about using computers for her leisure. Till then I had no issue with safe surfing as I used to be there with her or she would spend time surfing through the website only. My only concern was about time she should spend on net.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Varela Round, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 16.6666660308838px;">Now 10 years down the line, she is strongly aware of <a href="http://www.google.com/">Google</a>. New gadgets like smartphones and tablets have added to her list of screens. The time denoted to screen views could not be that strictly controlled anymore. Her interests are growing from doodling to rock and pop music to reading harry potter or looking at <a href="https://www.pottermore.com/">pottermore</a>. She knows most information are available through proper searches in Google or in youtube. I am not always there with her to supervise her moves online as my work loads have increased too. She gets assignments at school with instruction to do secondary research on internet. There are times when we plan to bake a cake and she quickly run to check a recipe online. Being a digital savvy and democratic mom I am happy that she has learned to utilise a resource that makes her tasks easier. I feel proud when her grandparents ask her to solve their queries related to smartphones and computers. But there is a creepy voice inside me which keep bothering me about her online safety specially when I am not around to check what she is upto on screen. It is important that we discuss with her on regular basis and understand her interests on regular basis. She is still not into social media but pottermore is very close to that. We have given her instructions about not being too open in the internet world, and that it is important to handle internet in secure way but we are still not sure how much she understands the seriousness of it. It is difficult to block unwanted advertisements and visuals from youtube and that concerns me a lot.</span></span><br />
I understand as a parent I would need to understand more about the world of secure online presence along with finding ways to teach hindi to my daughter. It is nice to know that there are others who are thinking alike and have come up with the concept of ekavach - to let our children go out their in the world of internet but in a guarded manner.</div>
The Curatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04719208096381902361noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6654906903126196075.post-84943083018170216222014-04-11T12:38:00.000-07:002014-04-12T12:23:26.624-07:00Not so easy things of life...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It happens to all of us but we always think that it is happening only to us. All of us go through certain stages of life where confusion takes over and we feel entangled. Most of the time we feel overwhelmed as we see others not in the same stage but then if we observe a little more we can see each one of us are dealing with Not so easy things of life... Each in their own way... Each in their own terms...<br />
<br />
<b><i>Crossroad symptom-</i></b> Once my father told me not to cross a road on the crossroads where 4 roads meet. He showed me how vehicles were coming from four sides and how difficult it was to judge the correct time to cross it. He showed how some people were trying to do that and were getting frustrated and angry. We walked little further on the road and we could easily cross the road.<br />
I experienced the same when I became a mother as a phd student. I guess any woman or man goes through this when they become parents and try to balance their lives along with a new bundle (of joy!) and the regular demands of life. Many times without much help from extended families like me in a foreign land and lots of self expectations of having a picture perfect life like those shown in the postcards. This is also the time when I learnt that my career and my child are equal in priority for me and that as much I want to do good in my career I wouldn't be able to do that without proper support ( emotional, physical and economical) for my child. It took some years for me to find ways around this situation, now 5-7 years away from preliminary years of parenting I could see how fragile and nervous I was at that time. I did not have a friend who could inspire or listen to my worries at that time. I had only male researchers around me married or not, parent or not, and I could not confide to them. They could not see any problem and they were publishing like anything. That was my limitation of not being able to reach out and to try to cross the road where 4 roads were meeting. That state of mind impacted my career and future choices/decisions to a large extent.<br />
<br />
Today upon finding a way for myself I see so many other new mothers passing through same phase.<br />
<br />
<b><i>Two boat situation-</i></b> It took me some years to accept that as much I like reading, thinking and presenting about science, I don't look forward towards technical processing of science. I did not like the repetitiveness of experiments to be performed and the dependence on one boss for greater part of the scientific career. I took strong decision of spending a big money to learn something related but outside of bench science. I started learning about that new field. This time I was more careful about my choices and started to look for jobs in both fields. My ongoing research field and newly learned scientific writing field. This process enhanced my confidence and enabled me to talk with senior people from 2 different domains in the name of interviews.<br />
<br />
There are times when we can't pick just one path and need to keep walking on parallel roads. This can be exhausting but for me this helped.<br />
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<b><i>Guilt free mode- </i></b>I cannot tell you the date but it is around the time when my daughter was turning 5. She was getting relocated from one country to another with me and was mostly accepting things positively with some mild aberrations, seeing her handling things with a smile I could see those long lived guilt clouds leaving me. I could feel for the first time that my daughter would survive and succeed in this world and that she could take so much change easily more so because she was a day care goer from very early age.<br />
Also, one day while talking with her she told me that she did not remember that she used to cry in the mornings before leaving me for day care as a toddler ( my major trigger for guilt- I realised this later) but she remembered her friends in day cares and the doll houses. From that day onward started my guilt free mode of life.<br />
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<b><i>2nd chance is rare and should be nourished-</i></b> I received an opportunity for further research, and I took the chance to try once more and I am glad I did that. Research after Phd is very different and enables us to work in independent environment. Sharpens our transferable skills like teaching, communication, and problem solving. Help us earn good money to lay path for next chapter of life. After availing the second chance I was sure that I really don't want to 'do' science, but facilitate, write about it or nurture science in other ways.<br />
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<b><i>Calculated risks and diluted ego-</i></b> I learned to take calculated risks and say yes to<br />
opportunities which were opening new frontiers to me. I still did not learn to negotiate though. Higher education come with a baggage of ego and pride, having taken calculated risk and stepping into a new domain, I could not afford to keep my ego boosted. It was required to bust my ego and quickly find a niche for myself in the new domain. I started using the skills learned in previous jobs, like attention to details and a knack to teach and train others. Sincere involvement and a mind to take new challenges came easily upon taming my ego. Ego never helps in anything. The less we have the better we die.<br />
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<b><i>Same problems but different approach-</i></b> In the new job I soon started pouring in long hours and though there was no experiments to be planned this time but there were telecons and meetings with different team members living in different time zones. I could relate to these situations from past experiences. I started taking different approach than handling them in previous manner and waiting for different results. This time, I was more confident and mindful, with less expectation. I simplified things wherever possible by expressing and demanding help at home, making my daughter independent in doing simple chores. I learned to walk further up the road and avoid crossing it on the crossroads.<br />
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<b><i>Circle of friends-</i></b> From previous experiences I learned that it is necessary to continue to make friends from all facets of life, from different genre of living. A childhood friend might not understand my present state of mind and a college friend might find me a bore altogether. So I learned to make friends from neighbourhood and internet. I have many blogger friends with whom I share thoughts that my sister might also find difficult to engage with.<br />
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<b><i>Inspire and get inspired-</i></b> I don't shy anymore to discuss about the lessons learnt through my journey. I share them with my colleagues who are in similar phase as I was few years ago. I observe and learn from others who are little ahead of me in career. I have a good network of like minded friends to talk, argue, debate and agree to disagree. I am learning about a new domain, new roles and designations, and new models of work in each day.<br />
<br />
<b><i>The dotty connect- </i></b>My daughter keep asking me about what will I be when I grow up. She believes that just like her I will also keep growing. And isn't that true! I understand that designations change from one year to another and from one company to another but I have no answer to my daughter's query. In 5 years I might have more dots in my career chart and I hope to connect them together in a solid line.<br />
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<b><i>Three years theory-</i></b> This year I proved again my theory of childhood that it takes 3 years or less for a us to accept a new city or a place. This is my third year in this city and now I have started feeling comfortable about it, I have learned to understand its strengths and weaknesses. I have started debating with new comers in the city, who don't find any reason to like this city. I was in the same page last year, today I feel home here. Having lived and left many places, I have found that only after travelling the path of newness, irritations, loneliness, reaching out, making friends, and then my brain accepts a place.<br />
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<b><i>Let it go-</i></b> Most of our problems arise because we are unable to let the moment go. We sometimes become so attached and grow comfort with a thing of life that we try not to change that like Not, let the child grow, let the career flow, let the relationship mature or let the life pass by.<br />
<br />
Change is the only constant and we need to learn to let life go slowly but surely...<br />
<br />
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The Curatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04719208096381902361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6654906903126196075.post-4540051413143423722014-03-31T10:49:00.001-07:002014-04-12T12:24:11.078-07:00Tantrum busters for toddlers<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Rena had a long and tiring day at office, traffic was horrible on her way back to home and then at last when she reached home she found that her two year old little son is in his worst mood and the baby sitter is completely bewildered about what to do.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Sweta is a homemaker; she gets completely frustrated sometimes to control all the tantrums of her one and half year old daughter.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Toddlers, they are like sunshine in the family with their innocent smiles, small walking steps and broken sentences but these tiny tots can also sometimes behave like thunder storm crying, yelling and shouting at everyone around.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">In the children of age between twelve months and three years almost can feel just like us but the only difference is that they does not know how to control those feeling. Instead of shouting or giving punishment or getting depressed on a yelling child just take completely opposite approach to cool them down and see how you are also feeling much better. Here are some tips to calm down your angry little one.</span></div>
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<em style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Hide and seek</em></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">When your child is demanding for a third chocolate bar and you cannot divert his mind then just be quiet for few seconds and hide yourself behind the curtains/ doors and ask him to search you and you will see how he will wipe his eyes and will start searching you.</span></div>
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<em style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); text-align: left;">Pillow war</em></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); text-align: left;">You had a very bad day at office, you left office quite frustrated. You came home and you found that your tiny one is really tired after whole day of separation and is shouting out of frustration. This is the best moment to play pillow war. Before starting the war be sure that both of you eat something together and then go to the bed and start! Throw pillows at each other, roll on the bed, laugh loudly, cuddle your child tightly and soon you will see the vapors of both of your frustrations near the ceiling.</span></div>
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<em style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Comedy of errors</em></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Sometimes just bend down to the level of your crying child and point at her hand and say “Oh my god what happened to your legs” and see how she gets confused and then starts laughing! Repeat this with all other body parts until all her tears dries.</span></div>
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<em style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); text-align: left;">Indigenous bowling</em></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); text-align: left;">It is a Sunday morning. You have invited some guest in the evening and for this reason both of you are busy. Your child on the other hand is moving behind you demanding some attention from you. Come on take a break from the continuous house chores and have some real fun with your child. Arrange some empty plastic bottles of cold drinks/ water in a row and then bring the big ball of your child and start. Throw the ball to the arranged bottles just like in bowling places. See how your junior gets busy with this game.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><b><i>Published in www.sitagita.com</i></b></span></div>
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The Curatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04719208096381902361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6654906903126196075.post-736426361105601072014-03-29T05:53:00.001-07:002014-04-12T12:24:59.036-07:00The Fine Art Of Balancing Your Personal And Professional Goals<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<strong style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Varela Round', sans-serif; line-height: inherit;">At different stages of their personal lives – seeking a life partner, marriage, having children, relocation due to partner’s transfer, divorce, providing care to the elderly/sick family members, working women in India find their personal goals in conflict with their professional goals.</strong></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">Just as we feel we are ‘achievers’ on our first job and</span> <span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">start planning for the next role of our</span><br />
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;"> interest, we begin getting suggestions from people around us (sometimes, including our bosses!) </span><br />
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">to settle down in life i.e. get married or get kids.</span></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">This is the first juncture in most urban Indian working women’s lives where we need to </span><br />
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">simultaneously think about personal and professional goals, and it continues. It is still mostly </span><br />
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">women who take on the challenge of relocation, </span><strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;"><a href="http://www.womensweb.in/articles/the-10-step-plan-to-changing-careers/" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #0077cc; line-height: 1.5em; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="Making a career change work for you">career transition</a></strong><span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">, short breaks, or quitting their </span><br />
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">career due to changes in their personal state. This impacts our lives deeply and can result in </span><br />
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">depression, and the guilt of non-performance in many of us, given that we start with high </span><br />
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">expectations for ourselves.</span></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">Here are a few tips on how women can cope in such situations and handle them effectively</span><i style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">.</i></div>
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<b style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;"><span style="font-size: small;">Clarity of thought and authority</span></b></h2>
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This is most difficult part of the whole balance for working women in India. Generally, men are in<br />
a better position here, <span style="line-height: inherit;">as they are mostly not given any choice but to earn for the family. </span><br />
<span style="line-height: inherit;">As working women, we need to learn to do a </span><strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;"><a href="http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTMC_05.htm" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #0077cc; line-height: inherit; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">strength, weaknesses, opportunities and</a></strong><br />
<strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;"><a href="http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTMC_05.htm" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #0077cc; line-height: inherit; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"> threats</a> </strong><strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;"><a href="http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTMC_05.htm" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #0077cc; line-height: inherit; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">(SWOT) analysis</a></strong><span style="line-height: inherit;"> and take authority of our work choices, aspirations, and the return on </span><br />
<span style="line-height: inherit;">interest (ROI) for at least 3-5 years. This will help us to make informed choices.</span></div>
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<b style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;"><span style="font-size: small;">Parallel moves</span></b></h2>
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<b style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;"></b><span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.1;">It is not necessary to stop asking for more responsibilities at work, looking for a challenging project,</span><br />
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.1;"> new job or plan for higher education in anticipation of marriage or a child. As Sheryl Sandberg </span><br />
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.1;">posits in </span><strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;"><a href="http://www.womensweb.in/articles/indian-women-in-stem/" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #0077cc; line-height: 1.5em; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Lean In</a></strong><span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">, many of us stop pushing ourselves at work long before the day we really get </span><br />
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">married or have a child. This attitude of self doubt causes more voids in our career than there </span><br />
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">should be. It is viable to think about career goals and personal goals on parallel paths rather </span><br />
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">than in a chronological manner.</span></div>
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<b style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;"><span style="font-size: small;">Break big tasks into chunks</span></b></h2>
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<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">For a new mother, a new project at work can be overwhelming and even unfulfilling. It can be </span><br />
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">managed instead by </span><strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;"><a href="http://www.talentedladiesclub.com/all-help/how-to-chunk-big-goals-down-into-achievable-steps/" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #0077cc; line-height: 1.5em; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">cutting the big task into smaller chunks</a></strong><span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;"> and working on it in like </span><br />
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">working on a jigsaw puzzle. Think about completing the next step, not the entire project. Taking </span><br />
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">breaks and rewarding yourself at regular intervals are some simple steps for a motivation refill. </span><br />
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">The same approach of adopting short term goals as a parent will also help us not to get burnt </span><br />
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">out.</span></div>
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<b style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;"><span style="font-size: small;">Lists and mind maps</span></b></h2>
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<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">We are very good at making lists, but now it is time to upgrade ourselves to mind maps, charts </span><br />
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">and visuals with attached timelines for required tasks. While working on the timeline of a project, </span><br />
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">resourcing, budgeting and future scope can be tracked simultaneously.</span></div>
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<b style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;"><span style="font-size: small;">Express it and not just expect</span></b></h2>
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<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">As little girls, we were told to be good mannered and keep doing the good work without waiting </span><br />
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">for the results. In real life, everyone is busy around us and it is wrong to expect that our </span><br />
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">colleagues or partners will take the cues from our frowns and do what we want them to do. </span><br />
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">We need to express our thoughts loud and clear. We should talk more about our good </span><br />
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">performances, career aspirations, and future plans at work and at home as well. </span><br />
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">To achieve at life and work, we need a support team behind us. We cannot go far without using</span><br />
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;"> our voice.</span></div>
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<b style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;"><span style="font-size: small;">Assessing opportunities</span></b></h2>
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<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">Dual career families, managing career after childbirth or relocations are common in most places </span><br />
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">across the world. Women are trying to cope with these situations using different work models.</span><br />
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;"> Understand your core skill sets and their range of applicability, if your situation doesn’t allow </span><br />
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">you to work in the same way you did earlier. For example, a teacher can think of online tutoring </span><br />
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">or creating contents for educational courses where her core competence will be utilised.</span></div>
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<b style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;"><span style="font-size: small;">Practising mindfulness</span></b></h2>
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Women are known for their multitasking skills. Planning the dinner menu while helping kids<br />
with their homework is something we all do! But most of us become so involved with our<br />
personal quest that it reflects in the workspace too and keeps us from the joy of fulfilment.<br />
It is also true that work overpowers our personal space and we lose mindfulness at home.</div>
<div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 16.66666603088379px; margin-bottom: 10px; text-align: left;">
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;"><a href="http://www.womensweb.in/articles/working-mother-mindful-motherhood/" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #0077cc; line-height: inherit; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="The art of mindful motherhood"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;">Mindfulness</strong></a> and concentration on the work in hand is vital. It is difficult especially for mothers</span><br />
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;"> of newborn babies but this can be practiced through working in smaller chunks.</span></div>
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<b style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;"><span style="font-size: small;">Reach out</span></b></h2>
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<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">In this virtual world, Google can bring answers to almost all the queries we have. As a young </span><br />
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">mother I was benefitted from websites like </span><strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;"><a href="http://www.babycenter.in/" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #0077cc; line-height: 1.5em; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">babycenter</a></strong><span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">. Now, I closely follow communities like </span><br />
<strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;"><a href="http://leanin.org/" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #0077cc; line-height: 1.5em; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">lean In</a><span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">, </span><a href="http://fleximoms.in/" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #0077cc; line-height: 1.5em; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">fleximoms</a></strong><span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;"> and </span><strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;"><a href="http://www.womensweb.in/" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #0077cc; line-height: 1.5em; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Women’s Web</a></strong><span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;"> to gain perspectives from other women and learn about</span><br />
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;"> matters important to me. I often talk with my line manager and colleagues to learn more about a</span><br />
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;"> new component of work. We should reach out to others to share our thoughts, </span><strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;"><a href="http://www.womensweb.in/articles/to-lean-in-learn-to-lean-on/" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #0077cc; line-height: 1.5em; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">delegate duties</a></strong><span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">,</span><br />
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;"> prioritise tasks, and for constant communication.</span></div>
<h2 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #ff9933; font-family: 'Carrois Gothic', sans-serif; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-top: 20px; text-align: left;">
<b style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;"><span style="font-size: small;">Take out ‘Me/Us time’</span></b></h2>
<div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 16.66666603088379px; margin-bottom: 10px; text-align: left;">
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">Most Indian women forget to hang out with their old friends after marriage and after having kids. </span><br />
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">Taking out time as couples or with friends is equally important to get a break from our rigorous </span><br />
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">daily routines. Use ‘me time’ to exercise, attend conferences, read, think, analyse, solve </span><br />
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">problems, fulfil hobbies, rejuvenate and plan. Working mothers go through extreme guilt on </span><br />
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">this but taking a little ‘me time’ out can do wonders to the quality of your life.</span></div>
<h2 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #ff9933; font-family: 'Carrois Gothic', sans-serif; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-top: 20px; text-align: left;">
<b style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;"><span style="font-size: small;">Say no and negotiate</span></b></h2>
<div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 16.66666603088379px; margin-bottom: 10px; text-align: left;">
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">Indians are known for saying yes all the time. In the global environment that we live in, we </span><br />
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">should</span><span style="line-height: 1.5em;"> know our limitations and capabilities. Before saying yes to any task (whether it is analysis of a </span><br />
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">new data set or inviting friends home at short notice) ask yourself whether you have time and </span><br />
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">energy for that. Always say no to the work and not the person. </span><strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;"><a href="http://www.mindtools.com/CommSkll/NegotiationSkills.htm" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #0077cc; line-height: 1.5em; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Negotiate</a></strong><span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;"> with objectivity and </span><br />
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">openness towards the situation.</span></div>
<h2 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #ff9933; font-family: 'Carrois Gothic', sans-serif; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-top: 20px; text-align: left;">
<b style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;"><span style="font-size: small;">Upgrade and update</span></b></h2>
<div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 16.66666603088379px; margin-bottom: 10px; text-align: left;">
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">It is essential to keep upgrading and updating ourselves on new technological and behavioural</span><br />
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;"> skills </span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">considering the fast changing landscapes both at work and home. Both </span><br />
<strong style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit;"><a href="http://www.womensweb.in/articles/challenges-authoritative-democratic-parenting/" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #0077cc; line-height: 1.5em; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">democratic parenting</a></strong><span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;"> </span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">a</span><span style="line-height: 1.5em;">nd working in a global company requires lots of learning. Our laptops </span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.5em;">and mobile telephones are becoming smarter and so are our kitchen tops. We should not be </span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.5em;">afraid or closed about using new technology and their applications both at home and work. </span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.5em;">A person who can learn fast is respected and adored by others (even kids).</span></div>
<h2 style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #ff9933; font-family: 'Carrois Gothic', sans-serif; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-top: 20px; text-align: left;">
<b style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;"><span style="font-size: small;">Imperfection and impromptu</span></b></h2>
<div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 16.66666603088379px; margin-bottom: 10px; text-align: left;">
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">Everything cannot be done perfectly or in a planned manner. Spontaneity helps us during </span><br />
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">emergencies and crisis. So lets keep a scope for impromptu dinners and some imperfect, </span><br />
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">nervous moments in our otherwise balanced life!</span></div>
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;"></span><br />
<div style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 16.66666603088379px; margin-bottom: 10px; text-align: left;">
<i style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">The art of balancing between professional and personal goals is to learn to work like an ant and </i><br />
<i style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;">enjoy like a grasshopper.</i><br />
<i style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;"><br /></i>
<i style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.5em;"><b>Published in www.womensweb.in</b></i></div>
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The Curatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04719208096381902361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6654906903126196075.post-3518515095758911132014-03-11T11:11:00.000-07:002014-03-11T11:13:41.292-07:00Lessons learnt and looking forward to the rest of 2014<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
Life has come to a juncture when years merge from one to
another and keep rolling. It’s kind of late now to talk about beginning of a
year but that’s fine. Life seems to continue from one year to another but I do
make effort to have some bullet points for each year whether in personal, or
professional or social life, whether in the form of goals achieved or lessons
learnt. I do prefer to take last few days of the calender off to rewind,
reunite with extended families, travel or just stay at home. More appropriately
try to get some time to think about life. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Also this is the time to re-emphasize some thoughts from not
just last year but in last many years when this phase of my life started, in
India, in corporate etc. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Only hard work is in our
hands:</b> Life brings many situations to us, and we need to accept those, and
keep moving to the next moment, next day and next phase of our lives. Those
situations could be a result of many factors. Of all the factors only hard work
and ability to learn are in our hands, every thing else like luck or to be at
right place in right time are not in our control. So I have learned to work
hard and learn fast so that even if I get 30% of that as a result I shall be
able to be at peace.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Strategy, planning,
networking, flexibility, warm behavior, firmness are synergistic to hard work:
</b>Although we cannot control our luck according to our plan, but taking
calculated risks, having a plan B (or C even), ability to take decisions and
live with it, flexibility to accept a new situation thrown onto us, patience for
listening to others and giving respect to others do help along with the hard
work. Similarly being confident about our decisions, assertive, and firmness to
some of your requirements are also respected in life. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Consistency helps
too: </b>There are times when we get demotivated and uninspired for so many
reasons and start taking things casually. It might be okay for a short period
of time but it is essential to recoil and rebound as soon as possible and keep
working consistently at all aspects of our life including relationships. There
are times when this becomes the most challenging thing to do but we need to
keep reminding ourselves that this shall also pass.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Know your money: </b>It
is vital to acknowledge the money we earn. Most of the
happy moments cannot be bought with money but it is a critical factor to
check our lives. We need to learn to value it and value the source it is coming from. We need to learn to invest it. It is very
important to be aware of the price our skills and qualifications can bring to us. We should know where it is all going through are cards. It is also required to acknowledge that there will be time in life when we will
take decisions considering other priorities of our life and not money. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<b>Breathers:</b> I have identified the need of breather to continue living. It is easy to take leave from
office physically. But it takes some effort not to think about work for a day
or two. I find I am so used of thinking about work at any time frame. Even more
difficult is to get breather from home. Again it is easy to ignore the chores
and let them pile on, but it is so difficult not to listen to J or to ignore the
husband who keeps a watch that I am little off and start poking immediately. So
my small breathers are some strict ‘me times’ to contemplate, to stare the TV
screen, to sleep without counting hours and sitting with a blank state of mind. For me
and my entangled thoughts this helps. There are times when I announce that I am
going to have 'me time' and others accommodate. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Community:</b> This
is a very important learning that I cannot solve things or go on in life
without support and discussion with other people. Indian women are conditioned
to keep mum regarding issues or situations in their life and are trained to bring
an ever smiling calm picture to others. I believed in this for a long time. I
learned slowly that I need to speak out, bring out my problem out there to
other women and men as well. It is okay some people will be judgmental and
that is lesson learnt but there will be some who will agree to me too. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Identify an issue and
it will be handled eventually: </b>This is a wisdom I learned from my PhD
supervisor that if we are going through a process or situation or performing an
experiment, it is very important that we can identify, or categorize the
question or issue and once that is done we will eventually find ways to solve
this or make peace with them. Sometimes we keep revolving with same situation without
real analysis of the reason. It is
necessary to be objective and approach the situation through different angles. Objective
root cause analysis for anything that is bothering us is helpful. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Break it small: </b>Many
activities and duties posses a daunting image in front of us. For any new
parent, children bring a lot of changes in their life. In India new parents
also get to listen many judgmental comments from people around them. When both
parents are working the art of parenting becomes even more daunting. This result
into strained relationships, chronic health issues etc. Breaking the entire
task, situation into smaller portions and concentrating on that portion at a
time can be helpful. Breaking a big task in smaller portions keep our sanity
and we can observe the improvements while working as a team. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Have your own
parameters: </b>Life is full of goals that can be achieved, as young kids we
did not hear many people going abroad for studies or working but now that is a
norm. There were not many who had imported cars but now it is not a big deal.
So now if we fall into that comparative mode where we find everyone else is
doing better than us and happier than us then life will be so miserable. We
might see people going for foreign trips every year, we might see people
investing in property every year, we might have parents or relatives constantly
inquiring about our professional and financial well-being, but we need to set
our parameters on our priorities. It is okay to gauge success as per world’s
convention but that should not be the only way of defining our lives. We need
to have our own parameters to live our life our own progress chart and metrics. Going to a nearby park with a picnic bag can
be of immense fun, try this at least once.</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Health is important
too: </b>Of all the stress and hurried activities we go through on daily basis. It is
important to take a step back and analyse whether taking all of them is
necessary. Some urgency is created by us and can be dealt with later or never.
Some milestones can be avoided and some gaps can be ignored. We need to walk
more, move more, give more, eat mindfully, and laugh more to live a life which
we are craving for.</div>
</div>
The Curatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04719208096381902361noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6654906903126196075.post-50571278047045858242013-09-09T10:32:00.002-07:002014-04-12T12:25:46.236-07:00Journey or the Destination?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<br />
I was recently discussing with a friend of mine about the fact whether a journey or the destination is more important in our lives, she and I both agreed that it is the journey.<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TN2X1JSOmtU/Ui4Bj2GYz2I/AAAAAAAAAW0/zDHuJfvgbJI/s1600/2013-09-01+09.53.44r.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TN2X1JSOmtU/Ui4Bj2GYz2I/AAAAAAAAAW0/zDHuJfvgbJI/s320/2013-09-01+09.53.44r.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
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Both of us remember the ways we traveled for work more than the work benches during last 5 years. One another friend thinks just the opposite. He doesn't remember the journey to his office but he remembers the table, the office room and the computer screen, he has used in his last places of work.<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/--LA1K13WATw/Ui4B8idfyAI/AAAAAAAAAW8/o6yBmm-hsw4/s1600/DSC01366r.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/--LA1K13WATw/Ui4B8idfyAI/AAAAAAAAAW8/o6yBmm-hsw4/s320/DSC01366r.JPG" height="240" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></a></div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br />
When I was looking for jobs in industry and in one of the few interview offers I got, I was asked what do I relish the journey of doing a project or the target. I proudly said the journey, I like the process of working, I like the knowledge I gather while doing a project, I cherish the skills I get to learn, I feel very happy if the projects results into a fruitful piece, but if not I feel contended that I got the opportunity to work there and I got to know so many people through that piece of work. I did not get the job, so I guess my answer was not appreciated. I guess in a practical and conformers world, objectives, targets and fulfilling them via any means are most important agenda. Those who try their best but can not achieve the target, some how end up being portrayed as confused characters and society call them not useful enough. I was actually asked by my boss that instead of thinking what I want to learn, I should think which learning will help me in my career. Also it is a known unsaid rule that in work places, although during hiring a point is mentioned that care will be taken for personal growth of the employee, but my experience says that any personal interest is taken care of only when that coincides with the prime interest of the company/institute. So after all an employee is just a mean to bring more production, more money and more fame to an institute, it does not matter if that employee has benefited by doing that or not. There are huge number of people who can accommodate themselves into that need, but there are a few who cannot.<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Tma6wG9AzwU/Ui4EYwH3DAI/AAAAAAAAAXU/ygT5iMFBIW8/s1600/DSC08429r.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Tma6wG9AzwU/Ui4EYwH3DAI/AAAAAAAAAXU/ygT5iMFBIW8/s320/DSC08429r.JPG" height="320" style="cursor: move;" width="213" /></a></div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br />
World might work in that way, but for me the process of living is more important than trying to fulfil it all the time. I prefer to learn what I want than what is needed. And I must add the point that, for wanting a life where the priorities are set by me and not by the need of the society or a situation, I sometime feel I struggle a lot more than who accept to live in a predefined formats, made for them, by the society or the family. By following my new rule book if I can touch high achieving model defined by the society, one measure of that is money, society will then perhaps accept my norms but till then I need to struggle for existence, I need to keep explaining my choices. And this struggle can sometimes be hard and lonely. I might never touch that model life of rich with money and fame and remain marked as an not so successful and not worthy enough.<br />
<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-5Gn9V3ANh8g/Ui4CziKJFII/AAAAAAAAAXE/kJl0fTXZuA4/s1600/DSC09469r.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-5Gn9V3ANh8g/Ui4CziKJFII/AAAAAAAAAXE/kJl0fTXZuA4/s320/DSC09469r.JPG" height="240" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Then on looking around I see that there are actually many people who are in same shoes like me, they are not fitting into any group and trying to painstakingly carve a niche for themselves, living lives build on their choices. They are not high achievers (according to the conformists world), may be because of the decisions taken by them or the choices they have made, but if you think carefully they are the ones who make this earth more versatile, they are the ones who will not look at their watch and will come forward if they see some one needs help on the road, they are the ones who will listen to you carefully before giving you opinionated virtues without even understanding what your strong points are. They are the one who bring up new dimensions to the existing world. But unfortunately they are not acknowledged by the society, for the values they add to this world mostly are uncountable and qualitative.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-_3pS5d912TY/Ui4FJyzRDYI/AAAAAAAAAXc/KiqpvJhZUFw/s1600/DSC09975r.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-_3pS5d912TY/Ui4FJyzRDYI/AAAAAAAAAXc/KiqpvJhZUFw/s320/DSC09975r.JPG" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Some might say, it is all rubbish about journey and destination, you need to keep going and need to stay in the system, fulfill some objectives at least, to bring a change in it. If for that reason you need to bend a little that should not be an issue. That might be true, for a practical approach even for a non conformist in a world of conformers. And what I say is that by any chance if you fall into this category then you need to have immense amount of patience, courage and a strong head. You need to be able to make decisions on daily basis and have faith in them, you need to be have voice to say a spade a spade and at all costs, you need to have strength to pave a new road through the path untravelled.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-OHXpVXHG1G0/Ui4BaF95z8I/AAAAAAAAAWs/dfS6PowdJ30/s1600/DSC01164r.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-OHXpVXHG1G0/Ui4BaF95z8I/AAAAAAAAAWs/dfS6PowdJ30/s320/DSC01164r.JPG" height="240" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
And you need to keep travelling may wherever the end is.<br />
<br />
<b><i>Photo courtesy: Roads from different parts of India</i></b></div>
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The Curatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04719208096381902361noreply@blogger.com2