Mummy why do you always say no? My going to be six year old has started saying this just recently. I can recall that this comment is the most said between me and my mum and will be the most said one between me and my daughter too. Children at this age are very soft-looking strong-headed person. They know exactly what they want and they don't like to give up until they get that. Additionally my one does not have an aggressive way of demanding (no tantrums) for things but a very compelled nagging way.
In general I need to say no to her for 5-7 times on an average weekdays. 3-4 no's are dedicated to see television or You tube in computer. 2-3 no's are for not allowing chocolates or saying no to the third story she wants me to read before bed time. Along with these no's there are 2-3 forceful yes like she needs to eat some greens, she need to brush her teeth before bed and some others. I suppose these forced tasks have same impact like a no (as far as I can remember from my childhood). But as weekdays are more routined and defined she does not make much fuss about the no's. She knows very well that mum will say no but she keep taking chances (we did the same right!).
Real conflict arises in the weekends at various point of time for several reasons. On Saturdays during shopping period I need to say no at least twice in every shop we go. On Sundays again there are more no's for television, going to play with a neighbourhood friend at lunch time, for eating burger from a fast food joint, for buying one another soft toy and then again there are all those usual weekday no's. While writing about all these no's now I am feeling that I myself (an adult) might not have survived amidst of so many no's each day but thanks to the "lets try again" character of childhood that my daughter still manages to see television both on weekdays and weekends. There is not a single weekend shopping when she does not win me on buying on something for her. If she does not get a burger she will only settle down with pasta or pancake. And most of the times she forgets about the no just in few minutes and starts demanding for next thing on her list along with the complain that mum you always say no and each time she does that I can clearly see the picture of me and my mother sitting together sharing the same dialogue.
Most right thing to say at a wrong time! I can see the moment in future, when Jiya grows up a bit more to get the turmoil expressed over the blog...the first thing she will do is to give you a tight hug! This is the most passionate yes-no relationship possible between two human beings... As you said, it is also universal, beyond time and place! Though I am not a father yet, and felt that "elders are morons" all over my childhood, I did hug my mom just after reading this blog, realising how she did suffer to grow me up!
ReplyDeletewell well..............here it comes............for the subject of saying no to ur kids..........my son flatly tells me "YOU CAN'T SAY NO YOU HAVE TO SAY YES"...........and yes i do say no more times than yes as what they want outdoes what they need...........and i guess its been going on since long and will carry on till the words exist.........
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