Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Floating with the flow

Recently on a one day trip to the nearby fishing villages one scene I saw was the ease with which the sea gulls or some unknown birds to me were floating on the waves, they were relaxed and were easy when the big waves were coming and were cool when the waves were small. The scene had a special relaxing effect and got etched in my mind. 

Now-a-days when I am trying to wrap up last bits of my non residential Indian life, for each and every step, thing, moments I am going through a special feeling. In the laboratory, my bench, my corner, my computer everything will be not mine tomorrow. The autumn colors of the trees all around, which had given a sense of distant Durga puja (a famous festival in Bengali's  life) ritual for last ten years to me will not be there next year. Yes, I will be there very near to the Durga Puja next year, but will be far away from these crisp red colored leaves who gives an eternal sense of beauty and life till they fall. I will not be walking these paths. The sea which I could see from the window of my office , the colors of the sky reflecting the mood of the sea, the ruins of the cathedral at one end of this small town will not  be there tomorrow to give a sense of gratitude for whatever I got in life.

Each and every paper (specially art, crafts  and scribbles by 'J'), each and every dress and accessories, each and every book I own, each and every show piece I have collected are going through the scrutiny of our eyes in terms of their material, emotional and sentimental value.  Of course I have send a lot of them through postal facilities already, but this scrutiny will continue until we will finish with packing of our hand luggage I guess.

Thanks to the digital camera of today, that I am able to take photos of 'J's most of the art and crafts, plants, gardens in the backyard and other things which will not make their journey with us.

Most difficult are the the threads of relationships I have gathered in spite of living a temporary life here. Their jokes, their support, their shoulders to cry and lean, their warm hugs, the moments of drinking coffee with them, the long discussions on philosophical matters on several evenings, the special festive and casual dinners we shared, the chattering echos of 'J' and her best friend, smiles and their cuddles.

Yes, these are the moments which I am collecting in my memory box and trying to float with the flow just like those sea gulls or may be some unknown birds to me.

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