At different stages of their personal lives – seeking a life partner, marriage, having children, relocation due to partner’s transfer, divorce, providing care to the elderly/sick family members, working women in India find their personal goals in conflict with their professional goals.
Just as we feel we are ‘achievers’ on our first job and start planning for the next role of our
interest, we begin getting suggestions from people around us (sometimes, including our bosses!)
to settle down in life i.e. get married or get kids.
interest, we begin getting suggestions from people around us (sometimes, including our bosses!)
to settle down in life i.e. get married or get kids.
This is the first juncture in most urban Indian working women’s lives where we need to
simultaneously think about personal and professional goals, and it continues. It is still mostly
women who take on the challenge of relocation, career transition, short breaks, or quitting their
career due to changes in their personal state. This impacts our lives deeply and can result in
depression, and the guilt of non-performance in many of us, given that we start with high
expectations for ourselves.
simultaneously think about personal and professional goals, and it continues. It is still mostly
women who take on the challenge of relocation, career transition, short breaks, or quitting their
career due to changes in their personal state. This impacts our lives deeply and can result in
depression, and the guilt of non-performance in many of us, given that we start with high
expectations for ourselves.
Here are a few tips on how women can cope in such situations and handle them effectively.
Clarity of thought and authority
This is most difficult part of the whole balance for working women in India. Generally, men are in
a better position here, as they are mostly not given any choice but to earn for the family.
As working women, we need to learn to do a strength, weaknesses, opportunities and
threats (SWOT) analysis and take authority of our work choices, aspirations, and the return on
interest (ROI) for at least 3-5 years. This will help us to make informed choices.
a better position here, as they are mostly not given any choice but to earn for the family.
As working women, we need to learn to do a strength, weaknesses, opportunities and
threats (SWOT) analysis and take authority of our work choices, aspirations, and the return on
interest (ROI) for at least 3-5 years. This will help us to make informed choices.
Parallel moves
It is not necessary to stop asking for more responsibilities at work, looking for a challenging project,
new job or plan for higher education in anticipation of marriage or a child. As Sheryl Sandberg
posits in Lean In, many of us stop pushing ourselves at work long before the day we really get
married or have a child. This attitude of self doubt causes more voids in our career than there
should be. It is viable to think about career goals and personal goals on parallel paths rather
than in a chronological manner.
new job or plan for higher education in anticipation of marriage or a child. As Sheryl Sandberg
posits in Lean In, many of us stop pushing ourselves at work long before the day we really get
married or have a child. This attitude of self doubt causes more voids in our career than there
should be. It is viable to think about career goals and personal goals on parallel paths rather
than in a chronological manner.
Break big tasks into chunks
For a new mother, a new project at work can be overwhelming and even unfulfilling. It can be
managed instead by cutting the big task into smaller chunks and working on it in like
working on a jigsaw puzzle. Think about completing the next step, not the entire project. Taking
breaks and rewarding yourself at regular intervals are some simple steps for a motivation refill.
The same approach of adopting short term goals as a parent will also help us not to get burnt
out.
managed instead by cutting the big task into smaller chunks and working on it in like
working on a jigsaw puzzle. Think about completing the next step, not the entire project. Taking
breaks and rewarding yourself at regular intervals are some simple steps for a motivation refill.
The same approach of adopting short term goals as a parent will also help us not to get burnt
out.
Lists and mind maps
We are very good at making lists, but now it is time to upgrade ourselves to mind maps, charts
and visuals with attached timelines for required tasks. While working on the timeline of a project,
resourcing, budgeting and future scope can be tracked simultaneously.
and visuals with attached timelines for required tasks. While working on the timeline of a project,
resourcing, budgeting and future scope can be tracked simultaneously.
Express it and not just expect
As little girls, we were told to be good mannered and keep doing the good work without waiting
for the results. In real life, everyone is busy around us and it is wrong to expect that our
colleagues or partners will take the cues from our frowns and do what we want them to do.
We need to express our thoughts loud and clear. We should talk more about our good
performances, career aspirations, and future plans at work and at home as well.
To achieve at life and work, we need a support team behind us. We cannot go far without using
our voice.
for the results. In real life, everyone is busy around us and it is wrong to expect that our
colleagues or partners will take the cues from our frowns and do what we want them to do.
We need to express our thoughts loud and clear. We should talk more about our good
performances, career aspirations, and future plans at work and at home as well.
To achieve at life and work, we need a support team behind us. We cannot go far without using
our voice.
Assessing opportunities
Dual career families, managing career after childbirth or relocations are common in most places
across the world. Women are trying to cope with these situations using different work models.
Understand your core skill sets and their range of applicability, if your situation doesn’t allow
you to work in the same way you did earlier. For example, a teacher can think of online tutoring
or creating contents for educational courses where her core competence will be utilised.
across the world. Women are trying to cope with these situations using different work models.
Understand your core skill sets and their range of applicability, if your situation doesn’t allow
you to work in the same way you did earlier. For example, a teacher can think of online tutoring
or creating contents for educational courses where her core competence will be utilised.
Practising mindfulness
Women are known for their multitasking skills. Planning the dinner menu while helping kids
with their homework is something we all do! But most of us become so involved with our
personal quest that it reflects in the workspace too and keeps us from the joy of fulfilment.
It is also true that work overpowers our personal space and we lose mindfulness at home.
with their homework is something we all do! But most of us become so involved with our
personal quest that it reflects in the workspace too and keeps us from the joy of fulfilment.
It is also true that work overpowers our personal space and we lose mindfulness at home.
Mindfulness and concentration on the work in hand is vital. It is difficult especially for mothers
of newborn babies but this can be practiced through working in smaller chunks.
of newborn babies but this can be practiced through working in smaller chunks.
Reach out
In this virtual world, Google can bring answers to almost all the queries we have. As a young
mother I was benefitted from websites like babycenter. Now, I closely follow communities like
lean In, fleximoms and Women’s Web to gain perspectives from other women and learn about
matters important to me. I often talk with my line manager and colleagues to learn more about a
new component of work. We should reach out to others to share our thoughts, delegate duties,
prioritise tasks, and for constant communication.
mother I was benefitted from websites like babycenter. Now, I closely follow communities like
lean In, fleximoms and Women’s Web to gain perspectives from other women and learn about
matters important to me. I often talk with my line manager and colleagues to learn more about a
new component of work. We should reach out to others to share our thoughts, delegate duties,
prioritise tasks, and for constant communication.
Take out ‘Me/Us time’
Most Indian women forget to hang out with their old friends after marriage and after having kids.
Taking out time as couples or with friends is equally important to get a break from our rigorous
daily routines. Use ‘me time’ to exercise, attend conferences, read, think, analyse, solve
problems, fulfil hobbies, rejuvenate and plan. Working mothers go through extreme guilt on
this but taking a little ‘me time’ out can do wonders to the quality of your life.
Taking out time as couples or with friends is equally important to get a break from our rigorous
daily routines. Use ‘me time’ to exercise, attend conferences, read, think, analyse, solve
problems, fulfil hobbies, rejuvenate and plan. Working mothers go through extreme guilt on
this but taking a little ‘me time’ out can do wonders to the quality of your life.
Say no and negotiate
Indians are known for saying yes all the time. In the global environment that we live in, we
should know our limitations and capabilities. Before saying yes to any task (whether it is analysis of a
new data set or inviting friends home at short notice) ask yourself whether you have time and
energy for that. Always say no to the work and not the person. Negotiate with objectivity and
openness towards the situation.
should know our limitations and capabilities. Before saying yes to any task (whether it is analysis of a
new data set or inviting friends home at short notice) ask yourself whether you have time and
energy for that. Always say no to the work and not the person. Negotiate with objectivity and
openness towards the situation.
Upgrade and update
It is essential to keep upgrading and updating ourselves on new technological and behavioural
skills considering the fast changing landscapes both at work and home. Both
democratic parenting and working in a global company requires lots of learning. Our laptops
and mobile telephones are becoming smarter and so are our kitchen tops. We should not be
afraid or closed about using new technology and their applications both at home and work.
A person who can learn fast is respected and adored by others (even kids).
skills considering the fast changing landscapes both at work and home. Both
democratic parenting and working in a global company requires lots of learning. Our laptops
and mobile telephones are becoming smarter and so are our kitchen tops. We should not be
afraid or closed about using new technology and their applications both at home and work.
A person who can learn fast is respected and adored by others (even kids).
Imperfection and impromptu
Everything cannot be done perfectly or in a planned manner. Spontaneity helps us during
emergencies and crisis. So lets keep a scope for impromptu dinners and some imperfect,
nervous moments in our otherwise balanced life!
emergencies and crisis. So lets keep a scope for impromptu dinners and some imperfect,
nervous moments in our otherwise balanced life!
The art of balancing between professional and personal goals is to learn to work like an ant and
enjoy like a grasshopper.
Published in www.womensweb.in
enjoy like a grasshopper.
Published in www.womensweb.in
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